SEX TIPS TRIED AND TESTED: GOOD COMMUNICATION

Sex guru Doreen Webster wrote recently that ‘good communication is essential to a good sex life,' and suggested that shy lovers, ‘try using dolls to demonstrate what you really want from each other.'

The-Happy-Couple.com asked two readers to test out this tip. Here's what happened:

James and Loretta, shy lovers, sit on the double bed, fully clothed.

Loretta, with a flourish, brings out a little naked FEMALE DOLL from behind her back and smiles. James brings out a little naked MALE DOLL from behind his back, and smiles.

Loretta makes her Female Doll recline on the bed and beckon James' Male Doll seductively. James makes Male Doll climb on top of Female Doll clumsily and simulates sex. Then, slightly embarrassed, James makes Male Doll perform erotic-asphyxiation – gently strangling Female Doll. Loretta looks shocked and makes Female Doll go limp. James panics.

James rushes to the phone on the bedside table - and using Male Doll's hand, dials 999. Female Doll lies limp on the bed. In the background, Loretta paces up and down, wringing her hands.

The Paramedics have now arrived in the bedroom and hurriedly check the limp Female Doll for breathing and pulse, then gently lay it in the recovery position. James and Loretta watch, scared, over the Paramedics' shoulders. (James is still holding Male Doll, now at head height, so it can see too.)

The Paramedics rummage in their paramedic kit… presumably for medical equipment – but no – instead they pull out two little PARAMEDIC DOLLS... and then, to James and Loretta's horror, the Paramedics start to undress the little Paramedic Dolls.

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